Australian Woman Calmly Enjoying A Cold Beer With A Huntsman Spider

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This is a short vertical video of a woman in Sydney, Australia calmly enjoying a cold one with a huntsman spider friend. In her own words while I refuse to share my brewskis with anyone or anything: “Wait, but you said you were having a party.” I never said I was providing the beer, just the eye-candy. “Well where’s that?” Right here — it’s me, jerk:

“This video was taken at my home. It’s been so hot here in Australia and the only solution is a cold beer. This huntsman crawled onto my hand so I turned on my phone camera and recorded it. I’m sure he was just thirsty and looking for some relief from the heat.”

Admittedly, she’s a lot calmer than most people I know would have been. Specifically my girlfriend. She saw a spider in my apartment once and then like three weeks later she left and never came back. “Yeaaaah, I’m pretty sure that’s a breakup.” Wait — so you’re saying she’s not just avoiding my calls because she’s afraid it might be the spider?!

Keep going for the video.

Source: Geekologie – Australian Woman Calmly Enjoying A Cold Beer With A Huntsman Spider

Entomologist Names Three New Beetle Species After Daenerys Targaryen's Dragons In Game Of Thrones

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Because what better way to get people interested in what you’re doing than including a pop culture reference, University of Nebraska-Lincoln professor and entomologist Brett Ratcliffe has just named three of the eight beetles he recently discovered and described (Gymnetis drogoni, Gymnetis rhaegali and Gymnetis viserioni) after Daenerys Targaryen’s dragons in Game Of Thrones. *mixing cocktail at desk because it’s Friday and I only have an hour left to be here* That’s cool man, do your thing.

“When you create names like these, you do it to gain a little bit of notoriety and bring public attention to it,” Ratcliffe said. “We’re still discovering life on Earth. One of every four living things on Earth is a beetle. We haven’t discovered them all. We’re not even close.”

Ratcliffe said he’s named hundreds of species over his 50-year career and creating new names becomes difficult. Naming rules recommend against using humor or insults, and are particularly useful to avoid having duplicate names, he said.

“I’ve often thought that scientists take themselves too seriously,” Ratcliffe said, “and this is a way to circumvent that.”

Drogoni and viserioni can be found in Colombia and Ecuador, while rhaegali is in the French Guiana. All three have orange features.

One of every four living things on Earth is a beetle — is that true? *consults Wikipedia* “The Coleoptera, with about 400,000 species, is the largest of all orders, constituting almost 40% of described insects and 25% of all known animal life-forms.” Aaaaah, so a quarter of known animal species are beetles — that’s different than what I thought he was saying. I thought he was saying if you put every single currently living animal on earth (how ever many there are of each species) in a big bag and shook it up and pulled one out, you had a 25% chance of drawing a beetle. Of course I figured the chances of that happening were already slim anyways because beetles are so tiny. You’d probably draw something gigantic like a blue whale, my penis, or an elephant, despite all three being near extinction.

Thanks to Ram, who agrees somebody should name some newly discovered beetles after The Beatles, if they haven’t already. Gymnetis ringostarri.

Source: Geekologie – Entomologist Names Three New Beetle Species After Daenerys Targaryen’s Dragons In Game Of Thrones

New Footage Of Divers Swimming Alongside Deep Blue, One Of The Largest Great White Sharks Ever Recorded

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This is some new footage from off the coast of Oahu, Hawaii of some divers swimming alongside Deep Blue, a 20-foot long, approximately 50-year old great white shark, and one of the world’s largest known examples of the species. Divers say Deep Blue showed up to feed on a sperm whale carcass, and is currently believed to be pregnant. “I’M NOT PREGNANT, I’M JUST BIG CARTILAGED.” Hey, whatever you say, Deep Blue, you’re the one with the teeth. Some more info from one of the divers, who was clearly destined to be a shark whisperer as soon as her parents named her:

One of the divers, Ocean Ramsey, told the Honolulu Star Advertiser that they had been filming tiger sharks feeding on the whale when the shark arrived.

“She was just this big beautiful gentle giant wanting to use our boat as a scratching post. We went out at sunrise, and she stayed with us pretty much throughout the day.”

Great whites are rarely seen around Hawaii as they prefer cooler seas.

Ms Ramsey said older, pregnant great white sharks were the safest to swim near but cautioned against swimming anywhere where sharks were feeding.

Yeah I would not have touched that shark. Not because I was afraid, but because of respect. “Plus terrified.” I don’t even get in any water deeper than four feet because of sharks. “Not even the swimming pool?” Okay okay — you know how when you were a kid and someone told you the lights in pools were actually hatches that led to a shark tank, and they released them into the pool every night to prevent skinny dipping? “Mmhmm?” Well that’s true and it’s how I lost my first penis.

Keep going for two videos, but mute the Inside Edition one if you watch it.

Source: Geekologie – New Footage Of Divers Swimming Alongside Deep Blue, One Of The Largest Great White Sharks Ever Recorded

An Animated Journey Into The Leaf Of A Redwood Tree All The Way Down To Molecular-Level Photosynthesis

This is an animated video created by the California Academy Of Sciences imagining a trip into the leaf of a redwood tree, continuing to zoom and enhance smaller and smaller until we’re witnessing the process of photosynthesis on a molecular level. For reference, that’s pretty tiny. I THINK.

Take a journey inside a leaf of a redwood tree. Enter the stoma and view photosynthesis on a molecular level, knowing that the animation prioritizes scientific accuracy.

‘Prioritizes scientific accuracy?’ You know how I feel about scientific accuracy. “It’s best disregarded in favor of superstition and archaic beliefs, especially when it doesn’t fit your agenda.” Exactly. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a climate staying the same summit to attend.

Keep going for the video, which looks suspiciously like the trip I took through an alien galaxy.

Source: Geekologie – An Animated Journey Into The Leaf Of A Redwood Tree All The Way Down To Molecular-Level Photosynthesis

Oh, Just A Part-Dingo Dog Getting Massaged By Two Remote Controlled Boxing Robots

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This is a short video from Australia of a part-dingo dog getting massaged by two remote-controlled boxing robots. It looks like he’s enjoying it too. Me? I’d be really upset about it, but that’s just me and I don’t ever want robots so close to my face or ass. Unless, UNLESS– “Sex robots.” That’s not what I was going to say. “It’s what you were thinking though.” What I was thinking and what I was gonna to lie and say are two totally different things.

Keep going for the video of a dingo-dog just trying to relax after a long day of baby eating.

Source: Geekologie – Oh, Just A Part-Dingo Dog Getting Massaged By Two Remote Controlled Boxing Robots

DOOMBA, A Script That Creates Doom Maps From Your Roomba's Data

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DOOMBA is a recent script written by programmer and designer Rich Whitehouse for his model, image, and animation converting program Noesis that allows you to create playable Doom maps from the data collected by your Roomba. You can read a lot more about the process and even download the Noesis program yourself at Rich’s website HERE if you’re interested in experimenting with it yourself. Alternatively, you could just be happy your floor is clean now.

Thanks to hairless, who agree they need to make a Roomba slim enough to fit under doors so it can clean the whole house without having to risk my cats pooping under the bed again (how is that even comfortable?).

Source: Geekologie – DOOMBA, A Script That Creates Doom Maps From Your Roomba’s Data

Officially Licensed Full-Scale Jim Henson's Labyrinth Door Knockers

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These are the officially licensed, full-scale door knocker replicas (both 14-inches wide — they’re big knockers) of the ones in Jim Henson’s Labyrinth available for pre-order today from Chronicle Collectibles. Unfortunately they aren’t animatronic and don’t talk like the ones in the movie, which, for $399 apiece or $625 for a set of two, I think we can all agree they should. Also who even has a front door grand enough for a 14-inch door knocker, and can I come live with you as a pet? “Not a chance.” But what if I told you I was the babe? “What babe?” The babe with the power. “What power?” The power to eat out of a dog bowl and do whatever you say, now have we got a deal or what?

Keep going for a bunch more shots, including one with a hand for size reference. I told you they were big knockers.

Source: Geekologie – Officially Licensed Full-Scale Jim Henson’s Labyrinth Door Knockers

What Did I Just Watch?: 'In A Nutshell', A Weird But Impressive Stop-Motion Video That Tries To Capture The World In A Nutshell

This is ‘In A Nutshell’, a stop-motion video created from 3,000 photographs by filmmaker and animator Fabio Friedli of YK Studios that “distills the story of human existence in just under five minutes and delivers a profound and moving thesis on this thing we call life.” I mean I guess that’s what I watched? Honestly I was just really confused, mostly because I was expecting a pistachio documentary. I love these things. *tosses one in air, leans back to catch, takes it right in the eye* “GW, did you just–” Not another word.

Keep going for the video, but make sure to take a nice pause at 2:45 to stop and reflect on what you’ve seen so far.

Source: Geekologie – What Did I Just Watch?: ‘In A Nutshell’, A Weird But Impressive Stop-Motion Video That Tries To Capture The World In A Nutshell

Awww: Hamsters Racing Through A Five-Level Maze

This is a video of two hamsters racing (separately) through a five-level maze constructed out of cardboard by their loving owner and operator of Youtube channel The Secret Life of My Hamster. Who knew hamsters had secret lives? Although, admittedly, I did wonder what they did under those plastic igloos all day. “I’m pretty sure they sleep.” OR LEAD SECRET LIVES. “They sleep.” Man, I bet I’m getting catfished by hamsters on a dating site right now.

Keep going for the sweet video.

Source: Geekologie – Awww: Hamsters Racing Through A Five-Level Maze

Say What Now?: Man Admits To Injecting Own Sperm Into Arm To Treat Lower Back Pain

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Because who says you can’t make your own medicine, a 33-year old Irish man has admitted to doctors that he’s been injecting his own semen into his arm at least once a month for the past year and a half to treat chronic lower back pain. Now that’s a hell of a home remedy. My back would have to be so broken I could see it looking straight forward before I tried that.

While the man had a history of chronic low back pain, a further examination revealed a red rash on his right upper arm – and the patient subsequently admitted he had been injecting himself with his own semen for a year and a half.

“He had devised this ‘cure’ independent of any medical advice.

“Upon this occasion the patient had injected three ‘doses’ of semen intra-vascularly and intra-muscularly,” it said.

Doctors found that the semen had leaked into the soft tissue in the man’s arm.

“This patient’s back pain improved over the course of his inpatient stay and he opted to discharge himself without availing of an incision and drainage of the local collection,” the authors noted.

First of all, was it working? And secondly, who comes up with this stuff? I mean, how does a man possibly decide to inject his own semen into his arm to treat lower back pain? It doesn’t make any sense. Unless — UNLESS — he asked a coworker like me how to treat lower back pain, and that coworker looked him dead in the eye, leaned in, and whispered ‘Inject your own semen into your arm.’ Admittedly, I could see myself telling somebody that.

Thanks to Thaylor H and K Diddie, who want to know if he even bothered eating his own boogers or drinking some of his blood first, or if he just went straight to the semen.

Source: Geekologie – Say What Now?: Man Admits To Injecting Own Sperm Into Arm To Treat Lower Back Pain

Police Department Seeks Drunk Volunteers So They Can Practice Giving Field Sobriety Tests

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The Kutztown Police Department of Pennsylvania is seeking volunteers willing to get drunk so officers can practice administering field sobriety tests. As tipster Closet Nerd pointed out to me, this sounds an awful lot like a trap. Nice try, Klutztown, but, wait — free alcohol? Okay I’ll do it. The requirements while I aim to be the wastedest volun that’s ever teered:

The Kutztown Police Department is looking for three (3) volunteers to assist us in training officers to administer Standardized Field Sobriety Tests during suspected DUI traffic stops. The volunteers must be available on April 4, 2019 between 2:30PM and 7PM. Alcohol will be provided however you will not receive any compensation for your time. In order to be eligible you must meet the below criteria:

Volunteer requirements:

1. Be in good health between the ages of 25 and 40 with no history of drug or alcohol abuse
2. Clean criminal history
3. Be willing to drink hard liquor to the point of inebriation
4. Sign a waiver releasing the Borough of Kutztown of any liability
5. Have a sober/responsible party take care and control after the training.

Wait — so do you have to meet all of those requirements or is thee out of five okay? I mean that is a majority. Asking for a friend that, fine, might only meet two of the requirements. Okay just one, I hate signing things. I mean he — he hates signing things. Arthritis or something.

Thanks again to Closet Nerd, who informed me can smell a trap from a mile away, and a microwaved Hot Pocket from even further.

Source: Geekologie – Police Department Seeks Drunk Volunteers So They Can Practice Giving Field Sobriety Tests

Guy Makes LEGO Minifigs Out Of Gallium Metal, Melts Them Like Terminators

This is a video of Youtuber DaveHax using LEGO minifig shaped ice molds to make some tiny minifigs out of gallium, then melting them like little Terminators. For those of you unfamiliar, gallium is a solid metal at room temperature, but has a melting point around 86°F (30°C), which allows all this magic to happen. That’s cool. Also cool? How much melted gallium looks like mercury. So here’s my plan, 1) I show this video to all my least favorite coworkers and then 2) on Monday I bring in some mercury and tell them it’s gallium and let them all have a great time playing with it until 3) they all get sick from mercury poisoning. “You have a sick mind, GW.” Please, you don’t give me enough credit. “You have sick everything, GW.” Thank you — but especially abs and penis, right?

Keep going for the whole video.

Source: Geekologie – Guy Makes LEGO Minifigs Out Of Gallium Metal, Melts Them Like Terminators

Terrible Driver Gets Perfectly Stuck In Parking Garage

This is a short, filmed-off-the-monitor security cam video of a driver in a parking garage who hits the corner while making a turn, then proceeds to back up with the quickness, getting their car perfectly stuck between two walls. I’m not even sure if I could do that if I tried, especially considering I don’t have a license so trying would be illegal. Still, I’m a little confused seeing this video because my girlfriend said she was just running to the grocery store, and I know they have a parking lot and not a garage. *phone rings* Man, my night is gonna suck now.

Keep going for the full video, but you aren’t missing much from the gif.

Source: Geekologie – Terrible Driver Gets Perfectly Stuck In Parking Garage

Don't Tell My Aunt: An Umbrella That Looks Like A Wine Bottle

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Seen here getting cut from the Autobot tryouts, this is the $10 ‘Brella Vineyards Cabernet Wine Bottle Hidden Umbrella’ available on Amazon (in burgundy or black). When in dry storage mode it looks like a bottle of cabernet wine, but when raining can be opened to expose a functional (albeit low-quality looking) umbrella. Now I love wine as much as the next person who’s sadly learned it’s socially unacceptable to play quarters or flip-cup with shots at a fine-dining establishment, but who needs an umbrella that looks like a wine bottle? Now I’m not saying there was clearly some miscommunication and the manufacturer screwed up, but I’m pretty sure this was supposed to be an umbrella that hides a wine bottle. Now that makes sense, but they should also make a parasol edition so people don’t look at me funny when I’m drinking out of my umbrella in the middle of summer.

Thanks to Andrea, who agrees they should make a golf umbrella version that looks like a box of Franzia.

Source: Geekologie – Don’t Tell My Aunt: An Umbrella That Looks Like A Wine Bottle

Ambush Predators: A Video About The California Turret Spider

WARNING: Spider attack above.

This is a clip from the science video series Deep Look produced by KQED and PBS Digital Studios highlighting the lives of California turret spiders, ambush predators that spend their entire lives in the little turret towers they’ve built on Northern California forest floors (except for males attempting to mate, who will leave their tower to either get ambushed and eaten by a female assuming they’re prey, or successfully mating then typically dying). Some more info while I’m thankful I’m not a male California turret spider looking to mate:

Turret spiders are ambush hunters. While remaining hidden inside their turrets, they’re able to sense the vibrations created by their prey’s footsteps.

That’s when the turret spider strikes, busting out of the hollow tower like an eight-legged jack-in-the-box. With lightning speed the spider swings its fangs down like daggers, injecting venom into its prey before dragging it down into the burrow.

“It’s like the scene in a horror movie where the monster appears out of nowhere — you can’t not jump,” Pearce said.

Thankfully, the spiders are only about the size of your pinky nail, so they’re not really that terrifying except when seen up-close. And if you have my pinky nails they’re not terrifying at all because they don’t exist, since I don’t have either pinky nail. “How’d you lose them, GW?” I don’t wanna talk about it. “Were you doing something stupid?” Okay okay okay — you know how sometimes you see videos of chefs just whacking away at a piece of meat with a butcher knife trying to separate the bones? “Mmhmm?” I lost them holding my hands up on a roller coaster at the fair.

Keep going for the very informative video while I speculate whether ambush predation evolved from members within a species born with the lazy gene.

Source: Geekologie – Ambush Predators: A Video About The California Turret Spider

What A Time To Be Risen: Marshmallow Peeps Flavored Cereal Coming For Easter

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This is a new Kellogg’s Peeps flavored cereal coming in time for the Easter season. The limited edition sugarbombs include yellow, pink and blue marshmallow flavored rings, as well actual marshmallows. Mmmm, a little marshmallow on marshmallow action — I’ll allow it. Per Instagram user mnmtwinz, who has the lowdown in case you want to try scoring some for yourself a little early from Target:

Marshmallow flavored cereal with marshmallows! The cereal has got the same texture as Apple Jacks but literally does taste like Peeps Marshmallows; just without the sugar crystals. It’s strange but it works! The sweetness is a nice balance, not too sweet but not bland. And because it all tastes like marshmallow, you can mix it with nearly any other cereal that you feel needs marshmallow in it. 👀

📍 Found this on a pallet last night at Target. It had no aisle location, perhaps because it isn’t Easter time yet, so it might have gotten back stocked. Your Target may have them pushed out already, but if not, ask if they’re in the back just in case. The DCPI (item number) is: 231 00 0406.

Valuable information. I can’t wait to pick up one of those red phones at Target and start reciting the launch code. Foxtrot whiskey tango, this is GW in launch bay 9 requesting permission for blastoff. Launch code is 231 00 0406, please advise. “Sir that phone isn’t for customers.” You’ll never take me alive! *runs shopping cart into end-of-aisle red wine display breaking a bunch of bottles, lays in puddle pretending to be near-dead* You….you got me.

Thanks to Closet Nerd, who’s smart enough to know that little marshmallows are the real key to a well-balanced breakfast.

Source: Geekologie – What A Time To Be Risen: Marshmallow Peeps Flavored Cereal Coming For Easter

Real Products That Exist: $33 Decorative Unicorn Skulls

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This is the $33 ‘Ancient Fossil Unicorn Skull Sculpture Rare Mythical Creature Skeleton Model Great Decor For Archaeologists Excavation Adventurers And Collectors’ from Ebros Gifts and available on Amazon. Each resin skull is hand-painted and polished and measures about 11-inches tall, 9-inches long and 5-inches wide. Considering an average size horse skull is around 22-inches long, this must have been a very young unicorn. And that’s heartbreaking — it was never even old enough to realize its full magical potential before being killed. “You’re joking, right?” About what? “What part of ‘sculpture,’ ‘model,’ ‘resin,’ and ‘hand-painted and polished’ did you not understand?” Any of it really.

Thanks to Stephanie B, who informed me she has an ogre skull on her fireplace mantle. Now that I want.

Source: Geekologie – Real Products That Exist: Decorative Unicorn Skulls

Going The Extra Mile: Guy Creates Immersive Special Effects For Fireball Island Board Game

These are twelve videos highlighting a bunch of the immersive light, sound and smoke special effects that Youtuber andyk created to enhance he and his family’s Fireball Island playing experience during the holidays (with bonus Christmas tunes playing in the background). He says he plans to add even more effects in the future, as well as potentially modify the gameboard with terrain and possibly even a smoking volcano. That definitely sounds value-add. Also, for those of you unaware, there was a Kickstarter to bring Fireball Island back from the grave a while ago, and you can buy one HERE (although it doesn’t play the same as the original). Also, I like how he used the audio from Aladdin when Abu tries to steal the forbidden treasure as the voice of the game’s Vul-Kar in the first video. That was a nice touch. “And an erotic one.” Exac– wait, what?! “I said ‘and an erotic one.'” Oh, right, yes, agreed.

Keep going for all the videos while I speculate how long we’ll have to wait for an incredibly disappointing Fireball Island movie.

Source: Geekologie – Going The Extra Mile: Guy Creates Immersive Special Effects For Fireball Island Board Game

You Can See It Coming From A Mile Away: Russian Icicle Removal Goes As Expected

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This is a video from Saratov, Russia of a work crew removing some very large icicles from the front of a building. Now I’m not sure what they expected to happen, but exactly what I expected to happen happened, and that building is going to need a couple new awnings now. No word if these guys will be the same group responsible for installing those awnings, but I can’t wait to watch that video either.

Keep going for the video, but skip to around 0:40 for the action while I speculate whey they didn’t try solving this problem with some good old fashioned fire.

Source: Geekologie – You Can See It Coming From A Mile Away: Russian Icicle Removal Goes As Expected

Looks Legit: $10 Infinity Gauntlet 1:1 Movie Replicas 'Indistinguishable From The One In The Movies'

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This is one of the $10 Infinity Gauntlet replicas available from Etsy seller MutualRivals. It’s advertised as “Indistinguishable from the one in the movies,” but I would argue it actually looks better than the one in the movies. You can almost smell the power. It smells like *inhaling deeply* lemon Palmolive?

Exact 1:1 scale replica of The Infinity Gauntlet. Indistinguishable from the one in the movies. Includes all 6 Infinity Stones(Gems). Control the Universe! Be careful when you snap your fingers while wearing though!

Wearable, left hand, large adult size, glove includes these stones:

Space Stone
Reality Stone
Power Stone
Mind Stone
Soul Stone
Time Stone

Warning: Doing dishes with The Infinity Gauntlet may cause stones to fall off and be lost to the vast expanse of the pipes.

Note: Glove will sometimes differ very slightly from the one in the images. What with being handmade.

I also have a separate listing that’s just the set of stones. If that’s your thing!

Medium and small sized adult gloves available upon request.

On one hand, it probably is the best wearable Infinity Gauntlet replica you’re going to get for $10. On the other hand *looks at other hand* A catcher’s mitt? *gets pounded in face with softball* Oh right, we were playing. How are my teeth? “Missing.” It feels like it. Take me to the hospital? “Settle for ice cream instead?” Deal!

Keep going for a couple more shots, including what the gauntlet might look like clutching a penis.

Source: Geekologie – Looks Legit: Infinity Gauntlet 1:1 Movie Replicas ‘Indistinguishable From The One In The Movies’